With the Glee graduation drawing closer than ever, it’s time for the kids to think about their future. Kurt and Rachel’s NYADA audition has arrived. They receive an unexpected shock when the Dean (played by Whoopi Goldberg) shows up to listen to them personally.
Kurt is on the fence about what song he’ll be choosing for his audition. He can’t seem to choose between Phantom of the Opera’s Music of the Night or Not The Boy Next Door from The Boy From Oz. Ya know, for a school with no budget, Kurt sure happened to have a lot of candles lying around to practice with. Rachel has a talk with him and discourages him from choosing the riskier song because he shines on Phantom. She even dresses up as Christine for him. When he walks out on stage to an unimpressed Whoopi Goldberg, he changes his mind at the last minute.
Man. This performance. There’s a lot of suspension of disbelief here. Kurt just happened to be wearing the gold pants underneath his clothes and he just happened to have three dancers waiting on the side, fully dressed, when he wasn’t going to sing that song? And Rachel magically uncurls her hair and changes her outfit in 30 seconds? I can’t worry about it too much because I’m immediately distracted by Kurt’s crotch. It reminds me of that Austin Powers movie Goldmember. Just saying. Good news is, she loves it. And she’s very impressed. Looks like Kurt will be getting in to NYADA.
Now it’s Rachel’s turn. She’s playing it safe and singing my favorite Rachel song so far, Don’t Rain on My Parade. Lea Michele was fantastic on this when I saw her live. Shockingly however, Rachel messes up the words and starts over. She begins again and sings off tempo and has to stop herself. Whoopi has seen enough and walks out while a devastated Rachel is whimpering on the stage. I can’t believe that happened. I want to hug her as she cries her way through Cry.
When Coach Beiste shows up to school with a black eye, some of the girls make some Chris Brown jokes in the hall about her that royally pisses off Sue and Coach Roz. Because the kids don’t take violence seriously, the duo come together and ask them to apologize in the form of an empowering song. For some reason or another, they think this translates to singing Cell Block Tango on stage in some underwear. Beiste breaks down while watching and has to leave the room. She confesses to Sue and Roz that Cooter did hit her. She then breaks down and explains she doesn’t want to leave because she’s afraid no one else will ever love her. Awww! Sue tells her she needs to get out and she can come stay with her. Awww times two!
The girls apologize once again by singing her Shake It Out after she announces she’s left Cooter and has moved in with her sister. As they’re performing, we see that Beiste hasn’t left at all and has given Cooter a second chance. In other shocking news, Puck receives a visit from his father. His dad shows up with a beer asking for money. Nice guy. Prior to this visit, Puck was depressed about possibly not being able to graduate. So much so that he leaves school all together after singing School’s Out. His dad being a loser inspires him to stay up all night with the guys (while singing Rain in Spain) studying for his test. A confident Puck did his best and I’m actually shocked when he receives an F.
Does this mean Mark Salling will be staying here next season? I’m all for it. He was looking really good in that black tank top.
Funniest Quotes of the Night:
Sue: You can stay with me. I’ve got a tent you can wear.
Puck: Give me a D- and I’ll tickle your thighs.
Preview of next week’s episode, prom-asaurus here