Everyone’s favorite worst tv show is back! And now they’re able to pimp their star out as a Golden Globe nominee. Just typing that out causes me physical pain. After begging Ricky to propose to her last season, Amy is in no hurry to get married. Apparently she just wanted the ring as a trophy. She gets a ton of pressure throughout the episode to get married immediately. She’s 17. Since when do people have to get married immediately after getting engaged? Don’t most places have long waiting lists anyway?
Ben is crushing on that girl Dylan he met at the party. They talk for hours on the phone and even set up a date after her parents pressure her into bringing him home to meet them. He cancels the date after getting some unwelcome news about his best friend Henry. Remember when he slept with Adrian at the party? Yeah, that happened. I swear this show is so incestuous. They all have sex with each other! They should get Chlamydia Testing at this point. Remember when Grace was in that Lifetime movie about Syphilis?
Anyways. Dylan and her friends invade Ben’s room to smoke pot when he breaks their date. Is that normal? To just bring drugs into a stranger’s room? When his parents are home? Weird. Naturally, all of their parents catch them. I guess Ben’s struggle this season will be smoking pot. Because he didn’t have enough issues with the drinking addiction.
Grace doesn’t want to get back together with Jack after kissing him at that party. She says it was a mistake. She kisses him again anyway. Her boyfriend finds out and promptly dumps her. Adrian’s..boyfriend? Breaks up with her too. Did she date that entire family? I seriously have no idea who is who anymore. She begs Grace to ask her mother to let her move in with her at the condo and go to Summer school with her. She’s underage! Why are these parents letting all their kids move out? Amy announces she wants to go to Summer school as well to keep Lauren company. Basically, everyone’s going to Summer school. This season will be taking place at Summer school.
Oh yeah, Ashley’s back and she’s still kind of a bitch to Amy. But Amy is kind of a bitch right back at her. Ashley got accepted into college already and Amy is in Summer school. This show is so weird.
I can’t find the words to describe how excited I am for Make It Or Break It to be back. Even better than that? The season premiere was awesome! It has a spiffy new opening too! There’s something very dramatic and Olympic-y about it. I love it.
Smells Like Winner has the girls embarking on an eight week Olympic boot camp. They have a new hard ass coach to deal with. He doesn’t like our girls and he’s rude to Sasha. Therefor, I don’t like him. I’m so happy we got to see a little of Neil Jackson in the episode. I know he’s pretty busy these days. He and his accent were hypnotizing as always. My only critique is how unnecessary his shirt was. But I digress.
There are some new gymnasts for us to enjoy. A new, uninvited gymnast camps outside the gym begging Coach Mcintire to let her join the team. She’s amazing but has one serious attitude problem. But she has a rabbit. So. I guess it’s okay. There’s also a new, younger gymnast who is kind of annoying and perky.
Austin is still around of course. I’ve really grown to like him. I consider him the voice of the fans. He always seems to be saying what I’m thinking. And ya know. He’s hot. I kind of want Michael Shannon to appear randomly to play his father.
He’s still with Kaylie and their Golden Couple status is blooming. Payson isn’t having much luck in the relationship department. Unfortunately, Joshua Bowman is off on Revenge so Max went and broke up with Payson in a letter. Ahh I can’t watch Payson cry! My girl crush :(. Is anyone else going to miss her scenes with Sasha? But LOL at Austin telling Payson that Max is Bi and that he kissed him too. I was really looking forward to that storyline but this moment might have made it worth it.
Lauren stole Payson’s letter to read it first. She’s still evil this season I see. Is Karma getting to her? Looks like Lauren is sick with some mystery illness. The nutritionist thinks she should just stop skipping meals. Lauren continues to have dizzy spells and starts passing out all over the place. What’s wrong with Lauren??
I don’t know what it is but this episode is just such a breath of fresh air. I feel like Jordan is the new Emily minus the whining about her awesome mother. I feel like the girls’ real life friendship just shines right through in this episode. They just seem so happy to be together and it makes me happy to watch it. I love this episode.
Until their new coach makes them burn their Rock jackets. I’m getting some major Mighty Ducks 3 flashbacks here.
Who’s ready to go to Wonderland? When Mary escapes from jail, Emma rushes to find her before Regina discovers she’s missing. While driving in the rain, Emma literally runs into a mysterious stranger. She offers him a ride home to his fancy mansion where he invites her in for some tea. He thanks her for the ride home by drugging her and tying her up. Guess who is tied up in the back room? Mary! It’s a tea party!
Jefferson AKA The Mad Hatter, is Jefferson in both worlds. He knows who he is, what has happened to him, and how he is suffering from Regina’s curse. He’s consumed with agony, or, you could say, he’s gone mad, looking at his daughter from afar. She doesn’t know about him in Storybrooke and has a new family to give her the great life he never could back home. He knows that Emma is special and desperately wants her to make his magic hat work. What does he think she’s going to do? Even though he’s holding her at gunpoint, I kind of feel sorry for him. Maybe I just really dig his outfit. It’s awesome.
In Fairy Tale world, when he realizes he and his daughter are living in poverty, the Queen gives him an offer he can’t refuse. In exchange for a better life for his daughter, he must take her to Wonderland to get something that was taken from her. I don’t know why the Caterpillar getting high is making me laugh so much. I just wasn’t expecting it I suppose. They go off to see the Queen of Hearts. Or rather, break in.
The Queen takes a box and the two of them run from the guards to leave in time. If they don’t leave together, they don’t leave at all. The magic hat knows that two entered so two people must leave. No more, no less. Regina knows this. She opens the box and out comes her father. What the heck? She screws Jefferson and leaves him behind to have his head cut off by The Queen of Hearts. Bitch! That must have hurt. There, he is imprisoned and driven mad trying to recreate his magic hat so he can leave and find his daughter again.
In a way, Regina kept her word. His daughter has a great life now. It’s just not with him. That’s more of a Rumply move. Emma listens to his story and knocks him out with a telescope. The three of them fight until Mary knocks him out of a window. He disappears when they look out to see if he died. Where did he go? Does this mean the door is open to see his character again? Yay!
Meanwhile, Regina returns to the jail and is shocked to see Mary sitting contently in her cell. She has a talk with Mr. Gold. She’s pissed their plan didn’t work. Why would she want Mary to escape? Why are they working together? I was enjoying Mr. Gold working against Regina with Emma and Mary. I’m kind of disappointed. Emma notices Jefferson’s daughter at Henry’s school and asks to see his story book. Is she starting to believe?
The girls are getting ready for Prom. Who wants to bet that the night goes off without any drama whatsoever? You lose!
Emmett seems to be in denial mode when he asks Bay to the prom at Carlton. She’s excited to go and even asks Regina to do her hair for her. Bay spreads the love and helps Daphne come up with a clever way to ask Wilkie to the dance. Unfortunately for her, he tells her he can’t go because he has a paper to write. Daphne is really disappointed but decides to cheer him up with some lemon squares. His dad is home instead and lets her know that Wilkie is going off to boarding school because of his crappy grades. Guess he wasn’t lying about the paper.
Daphne thought he was though. That’s why she invites her friend from the car wash to go with their group. Emmett arrives to pick up Bay with his new motorcycle and proudly gives Bay her own helmet. But her fancy hair! That is not proper Prom transportation. When Daphne’s friend shows up ready to go, Wilkie surprises her in the driveway with a limo and a tux. Awkward. Three’s a crowd.
Angelo calls Regina from Immigration to see how they’re all doing. Regina makes it clear that she’ll help him but she’s done with him. Bay worries that he doesn’t realize how much they want him to stay so she goes to see him before Prom. In other news, Kathryn is stranded in her car with her hot lawyer and they almost kiss. Yikes! Remember when everyone thought John would be the one to cheat? Looks like this is one couple that will survive the episode.
Back at Prom, Wilkie tells Daphne why he hates Emmett so much. Daphne is shocked and confronts Emmett who lies right to her face. He has a horrible poker face and Daphne knows it’s true. Emmett’s guilt gets to him and he tells Bay the mistake he made. She’s floored and leaves the dance to hurl her helmet in a lake somewhere. I hope she doesn’t forgive him.
But I hope Regina forgives Angelo. Especially when their lawyer suggests the easier route would be for Angelo and Regina to get married. How awesome would that be for the next season? Angelo having to move in with Regina and Daphne and awkwardly pretend to be her loving husband? I’m up for that.
Tonight, we were promised that we’d learn the identity of A. So..who was it?
SPOILERS:
A wants their phone back. So, it only makes sense that A would cordially invite the girls to the Masquerade Bash. Another dance? Why does this town have so many dances? The girls spend the majority of the episode being incredibly stupid and investigating what Alison was doing the days before her disappearance. They realize she stayed at a creepy motel in the middle of the woods. Looks incredibly safe. So much so that Hanna thinks it’s alright to just take a shower there. When she’s left alone in the room, A pops in to say hi…or to just..watch Hanna through the shower curtain. Weirdo.
The girls are getting ready for the dance when Spencer tries one more time to get Toby to forgive her. No dice. When she leaves, he gets a call from Dr. Sullivan. What? Is he a patient? Before the dance, Jenna goes to see someone in the woods. She’s “Glad to see them again.” Then, she gives them something wrapped up in some cloth. What is it? I have my theories but more on that later. She tells the mystery person that the girls are all at the dance and “you know what to do.” Hmmm.
Caleb and Fitz show up to the dance to be knights in shining armor for their girls. Emily is walking around trying to convince Spencer to come back to the dance. She left with Mona because she figured out a clue. The hotel room was rented out by A and Alison stayed next door to spy on them. They get inside and it is insane. The entire room is wall to wall pictures of Alison and the girls. It’s A’s creepy, psychotic lair.
Mona is in the corner chewing her gum and tells the Spencer to warn the girls that someone dressed as the black swan at the party has to be A. Spencer finds Alison’s diary among the rubbish and inside is a gum wrapper. Spencer turns around and Mona is in her little black hoody.
Mona is A.
Are we supposed to be intimidated by Mona in that hoody? She looks like a smurf. There’s no way that’s the person who threw Ian off the bell tower or attacked Emily in the green house. She knocks Spencer out and takes her on a crazed chase in her car. She tells Spencer she can either “join the A team” or get shot with her dad’s gun. How did Mona get the gun? Spencer calls her friends secretly and they meet up with them half way when Spencer escapes from the car.
Mona and Spencer struggle and Mona is hurled over a cliff.
But she’s not dead! She’s just now in a psych ward. Dr. Sullivan reappears to say that Mona threatened her son and only came back because Toby insisted. Spencer and Toby get back together. Blah blah. Someone in a red coat visits Mona in the hospital. Mona tells them “She did everything they told her to.” So is Mona just A’s pawn? Are there more than one A? Marlene King is going back on everything she’s said in the past so right now your guess is as good as ours.
Were you disappointed with the reveal?
Oh yeah. Maya is dead. The ending is reminiscent of when Maya tells Emily they found Alison’s body.
