RHoA 7×13 is named “The Countdown Begins,” and it’s certainly an apt title: Phaedra and Apollo are counting down the former’s last days of freedom, Kenya‘s counting down to the revival of her career, Porsha‘s counting down to a party thrown in her honor, and Kandi‘s counting down to her play going on tour (or is she?). Read on for our full recap of RHoA 7×13!
Life twirls on
Back in RHoA 7×07, Kenya met with film and TV mogul Roger Bobb (also Demetria‘s other half) to discuss getting back into acting. In RHoA 7×13, she’s back in his office again, this time with pitches for TV shows. “I’m just a creative genius,” she simpers after pitching her idea for Three Brown Girls, a show about a trio of African-American sisters whose surname is Brown. Another idea is Life Twirls On, in which the protagonist encounters a circle of mean girls that includes the thoughtfully named NoNo and Athena. “These are all fictional characters, right?” Roger manages to ask with a straight face.
Cut to Athena – I mean Phaedra – at her friend/therapist’s house. They discuss how to break the news to her kids about Apollo going to jail. However you feel about Ms. Parks, she’s in a tough situation. Meanwhile, Apollo visits his divorce lawyer, and they talk about what to do if Phaedra refuses to bring little Ayden and Dylan to see their incarcerated father.
In last week’s episode, Cynthia burned the friendship contract she and NeNe signed in RHoA 3×11 and declared that NeNe has a new pet now, in the form of Porsha. It seems that may indeed be the case – over lunch, Porsha invites NeNe to a party being held in her honor by her new employer, Dish Nation, “because they love my talent and my humor.” (The fact that she thought the Underground Railroad was a real train probably doesn’t hurt either.) Alas, NeNe is too busy “studying for Broadway.” #RHoAproblems
In RHoA 7×10, aptly named “Puerto Read-Co,” Claudia clashed with both NeNe and Porsha, which of course makes her a topic of conversation during the lunch date. In response to Claudia’s accusation that Porsha’s glamorous life is being funded by a married man, Porsha says in her personal interview, “I work very hard, and whatever gifts that God may drop upon me, those are called blessings, baby – get you some.” (I want God to drop a Rolls Royce upon me. Not actually upon me, but nearby.)
It seems like some of those blessings need to be dropped in Kandi Land in RHoA 7×13 when Todd breaks the news to Kandi that the tour planned for her play, A Mother’s Love, needs to be canceled due to lack of sales. Kandi doesn’t take it well and gets teary while wearing a sweater that says “I would cry but my mascara is Chanel.” Where’s Alanis Morissette when you need her?
Kenya’s business ventures aren’t going particularly well either. Despite her promising meeting with Roger, he hasn’t been able to come through for her due to his demanding schedule. “I don’t have time to wait!” she exclaims to BFF Brandon. “Usually people wait on me.” She and Brandon decide they can oversee the creation of the pilot themselves, from putting together a crew to writing the script. But what will the show be about?
“I decided not to go with the parody of the women that are currently in my life because I think it takes the focus away from what is really the most important, and that’s me.”
Puerto Read-co, the redux
Over lunch with NeNe, Porsha declared that she didn’t want Claudia to come to the Dish Nation party even though she’d been invited, but it looks like Claudia’s planning to show up – and she’s consulted stylist to the stars Derek J. for fashion advice. They decide on a long, dark wig and cross their fingers that Porsha won’t pull it off. As RHoA 7×13 draws to a close, Claudia shows up to the event, so you know the episode won’t end peacefully. She arrives with the intentions of being a lady and supporting her co-worker, but Porsha views her appearance as “tacky” given their spat in Puerto Rico. Finally, Claudia calls Porsha over to talk.
Claudia: I’m not begging nor dying nor trying to be your best friend. I’m not. A cordial work environment at best, I’m cool with. We do have to see each other every day at work.
Porsha: In passing.
Over at Casa Nida, Phaedra is talking to her mother about how Apollo’s behavior has grown increasingly erratic in the few days remaining before he turns himself in to begin his eight-year prison stint. Pastor Regina is worried for the safety of her daughter and grandchildren, and demands they get out of the house.
Quote of the Week: “If it’s over 10lbs and it walks on four legs and it’s not your drunk husband, I think it should be outside.” – Phaedra Parks
If the preview of next week’s episode is any indication, things get a little crazy over at Casa Nida… Tune in to Bravo at 8/7c on Saturday for more from the A!