Previously on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, former ride-or-dies NeNe and Cynthia (remember the friendship contract?) both indicated they were done with their relationship, Kandi bought a house for the notoriously hard-to-please Momma Joyce and apologized to Kenya for believing Apollo‘s baseless allegations, and Kenya reacted badly to the news that NeNe didn’t believe the Apollo-gy. Read on for our recap of RHoA 7×05, “Friend or Faux.”
RHoA 7×05 begins with Kenya knocking on Claudia‘s door, asking to borrow a cup of brown sugar. Kenya then proceeds to tour the apartment and proclaim “Oh my God, this is so sexy – I think I might just take all of my clothes off.” …Safe to say this episode is going in an interesting direction so far.
As the newest housewife, Claudia’s still settling into Atlanta, which means she and Kenya end up standing in the kitchen of the couchless (yet sexy) apartment.
Kenya: Girl, we are drinking wine out of a plastic red cup.
Claudia: But that shows that we’re real friends, Kenya.
Kenya: I think it shows we’re winos.
Claudia introduces Kenya to her cat (“You’re not afraid of a little pussy, are you?”) and asks her to help assemble furniture. Eventually they determine that two beauty queens might not be the best candidates for the job and head off to wander the apartment complex in search of a capable man.
Things fall apart
Elsewhere, it transpires that Momma Joyce’s short-lived stint as the new resident of Kandi’s former house left its mark in the form of thousands of dollars’ worth of what Kandi calls “damage” and Momma Joyce’s boyfriend apparently viewed as “renovations.” Husband Todd urges Kandi to hold her mother accountable. Later in the episode, Kandi tells her aunts about the situation and mentions that Todd’s mother is still upset Joyce called her a whore. The aunts suggest getting the two together to reconcile, but let’s not hold our breaths.
Speaking of damage, former besties NeNe and Cynthia haven’t spoken since the RHoA season 6 reunion – quite an accomplishment given that this episode is RHoA 7×05. Cynthia tells sister Malorie that she wishes NeNe would be woman enough to discuss the situation with her directly rather than subtweeting and doing interviews – although, of course, Cynthia hasn’t reached out to NeNe either…
“The breaking point wasn’t NeNe calling Peter a bitch. It’s been a snowball of events, and I finally just got fed up with the self-centered shine of NeNe Leakes,” Cynthia explains in her personal interview.
Another relationship on the rocks is the rapidly cooling marital union between Phaedra and Apollo. Phaedra tells Kandi that despite his impending incarceration, Apollo is still partying, enjoying life and generally being in denial – oh, and she thinks Kenya paid him off to lie about lying. “It wouldn’t have been believable if she didn’t have such bad behavior herself, right? Correct.” Well, at least Phaedra agrees with herself.
Kandi remains unconvinced and, in the spirit of forgiveness cultivated by her aunts, announces her intentions of planning an event to bring Phaedra and Kenya together, as well as reconciling Cynthia and NeNe.
Phaedra: Let’s be together and fight some more!
Kandi: No, let’s be together and have a nice, peaceful meal.
Who else thinks this has “bad idea” written all over it?
Remember when RHoA first premiered in 2008, and NeNe’s son Brentt was nine years old? By RHoA 7×05, he’s all grown up and ready to learn how to drive – but father Gregg doesn’t exactly have a lot of faith in him.
“Do you have to do all that?” NeNe asks as Gregg dons a football helmet, ties a pillow around his waist and somewhat inexplicably puts on oven mitts. “He ain’t never drove!” Gregg protests. NeNe declares him “a hot-ass mess” – and judging by how many cones Brentt runs over, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Over at the gym, Claudia’s also a hot-ass mess… because she doesn’t think she has a hot ass. In an uncharacteristic genuine and subdued moment for the Real Housewives franchise, she opens up to Kenya about being biracial and her strained relationship with her mother.
Squashed beef & stale crackers
While Kandi and Phaedra wait for the other ladies to arrive for their “nice, peaceful meal,” Phaedra takes the opportunity to pray. “I want God to be in the midst, and I know this could turn out horribly wrong, but with the power of prayer, it might be OK” (“might” being the operative word).
Cynthia’s the next to arrive, and she explains her mindset in her personal interview. “I am going to be nice to anyone who is nice to me,” she declares. “And I am going to come for anyone who comes for me.” Sounds ominous.
At the restaurant, Kenya and Phaedra exchange a curt “Hey” and then Porsha appears in a dress so expensive Cynthia wonders if it was purchased thanks to her job or her sugar daddy. NeNe shows up last, all the while declaring in her personal interview that she’s “not interested in being in any negative environment right now.” Um… did she get lost?
Kandi announces that she wanted to bring everyone together so the ladies could still participate in group activities without feeling uncomfortable and everybody could move forward. Kenya asks for the benefit of the doubt in the wake of the Apollo-gy. Predictably, she and Phaedra start bickering, but Phaedra ultimately agrees to clear the slate and the table bonds over stale crackers. Only in Atlanta.
With that beef squashed, Kandi turns her attention to NeNe and Cynthia, but putting a Band-Aid over their issues doesn’t go as smoothly. As Kandi puts it, “NeNe is going in, and this is getting all out of control – definitely not what I had in mind.”
Quote of the Week: This week, it’s a tie between Kenya’s “I’m not gonna be the girl that’s the 40-year-old virgin and 17 cats, so no pussy for Kenya” and Phaedra’s “Girl, I’m the queen of the green: money and guacamole.”
According to the preview of next week’s episode, the fireworks from RHoA 7×05 continue in 7×06, so tune into Bravo next Sunday at 8/7c.