by Josh Batchelder
Three gory deaths and one creepy phone call made this week’s episode of Scream Queens, appropriately titled “Handidates,” extra memorable.
Here are 10 of the craziest, funniest, and most gasp-worthy moments from Scream Queens 2×03:
1. When #5 called out Chanel for mixing up a swamp and a bog.
“OK, fine, I’m glad you took a class in comparative wetlands! Maybe you could put the same effort into figuring out who the killer is!”
2. Chad’s conclusion about Dr. Brock’s hand.
“Chanel, you have no choice but to reject this man and that gay murdering hand and start boning me again.”
3. Sheila screaming for help with her “persistent genitalia arousal disorder.”
“I’ll do anything! Remove my vagina, I don’t care!”
4. Chanel #3’s confusion about orgasms.
“I thought they were just moans you did to let the other person roll off of you, like an ‘I’m ready for you to stop’ alarm.”
5. “Airing out my scrote bro…”
I would watch a full-length movie of scenes between Chad and Dr. Brock because every scene with Glen Powell and John Stamos is just electric.
6. Chad’s proposal to Chanel.
The most perfect thing ever, complete with prenups. So romantic.
7. Chad talking about how awesome he really is.
“Girls really wanna bone me, OK? When I die, I’ve left instructions to grind me up into a fine powder to be given out to underprivileged dudes who have trouble getting laid. Because I’m convinced if they rub my essence on ’em, they’re pretty much guaranteed to get ass.”
8. The “whore cut” diamond.
I mean, could anything more relevant be on Chanel’s finger?
9. Chanel talking about walking down the aisle.
“Chad asked me to come first. He said I should get used to it.”
10. Chad DEAD?!
The ending of Scream Queens 2×03 would certainly suggest as much. I’m not ready to lose one of my favorite characters on the show, so hopefully this is just a fake-out of some kind. It’s too early in the season to lose Chad Radwell. Maybe he faked his death like Boone? Tune in to FOX Tuesday at 9/8c to find out!