Rizzoli & Isles 7×05 featured Jane wearing sunglasses, Maura wearing a bun, Hope returning from the ether and, oh, yeah, a murder of the week. Read on for our recap.
Heaven in a bag
As Rizzoli & Isles 7×05 opens, Maura’s on the phone with – you’ll never guess – her mom. Remember her? (Hope, not Constance – still no idea where the latter’s been for the past few seasons.) Anyway, Maura’s explaining that she’s undergoing decompression surgery that afternoon to alleviate some of the symptoms caused by her fall in the season 7 premiere. Of course, Jane’s sitting at the kitchen counter the whole time, silently offering moral support because that’s what soul mates do. Hope seems concerned and wants to come to the hospital, which perplexes Maura because A) she’s only undergoing a minor procedure, and B) this is her first on-the-record contact with her birth mom since season 4, soooo way to switch gears there, Dr. Martin.
Speaking of mothers, in comes Mama Rizzoli with what she declares to be “heaven in a bag.” Has she been frequenting the Pot Palace from last season? Nope, just a hip new neighborhood bagel place – but guess who’s not allowed to eat before her surgery? Maura’s struggle is truly real. Next, Jane and Maura do their cute little “Rizzoli!” “Isles!” tandem phone-answering thing and, damn, I’m really going to miss that. As Jane prepares to head out, Angela encourages her daughter to put a bagel in her pocket for later, and I have never loved Lorraine Bracco‘s character more. Of course, Jane refrains because she’s on a sympathy fast. I know we’re only a couple of minutes into Rizzoli & Isles 7×05, but it’s safe to say Jane’s girlfriend game is already strong in this episode.
As Jane and Maura approach this week’s crime scene, an increasingly hungry Maura regales Jane with bagel facts. Jane’s predictably enthused, commenting, “Who knew there was that much bagel trivia to last a 30-minute car ride?” While Maura checks out the house, Korsak gives Jane the 411. TL;DR, their victim fell down the stairs in the middle of the night. According to her husband and daughter, it was an accident, but would an accident lead to that much blood?
Speaking of seeming suspicious, Frankie takes his sweet time heading to the scene, and you’d better believe Jane calls him out. “How’d you get here? Connecticut?” she asks. I can’t wait to use that in real life next time someone’s tardy for the party. He tries to be vague, but another cop blows up his spot by mentioning he left something in Nina’s car. Well, that’s one secret Rizzoli relationship out in the open and one more to go.
Working with melons
Elsewhere in the house, Jane and Korsak interview the victim’s husband and daughter. The husband claims his wife was still downstairs watching TV when he went to bed, while the daughter says she discovered her mom during a 2 a.m. bathroom trip. The husband, Robert, consents to a property search to rule out foul play, but I still have my reservations about him. It’s always the spouse, right?
Back at headquarters, Jane checks in on Maura and Kent pops out of nowhere to warn her that her girlfriend’s grumpy. (Remember when Senior Criminalist Susie Chang was murdered last season? Why did she have to die while Kent gets to live?) Maura counters that she is “simply focused” and proceeds to brief Jane on her findings. However, Jane’s a little distracted on account of the ungodly noises coming from the adjacent room. “He’s working with melons,” Maura explains. Jane knows allllll about working with melons, but decides to investigate further anyway.
Turns out Kent’s running a series of experiments to replicate their victim’s cranial damage. His findings? “Fruit homicide,” Jane declares, but Kent insists on “fruiticide” because he’s one of those annoying people who try to shoehorn everything into a portmanteau even when it doesn’t work. Semantics aside, one thing’s clear: Their simple slip-and-fall case is anything but.
Upstairs, Frankie’s briefing Korsak on the murder victim, her husband, and her daughter – a contract lawyer, an antiquities dealer, and a sports-playing honors student, respectively. “They’re pretty impressive on paper,” he tells the sergeant, who shoots back, “So are the Kardashians.” I mean… yes. Just then, Nina appears with a lead. The daughter, Claire, had been texting her boyfriend about a fight she had with her mom the previous night. Frorsak (see, some portmanteaux just aren’t meant to be) pair up to find the boyfriend, who tells them Claire snuck out to attend a party with him. If you recognize the boyfriend, that’s because actor Tom Williamson also plays AJ on The Fosters, which I also recap every week, just saying.
The Rizzoli side of the Isles
Over at the hospital, Maura may only be having minor surgery, but that’s still a great excuse for Jane to act super girlfriendy with a hint of badass.
Jane: “If you want, I could give your doctor a breathalyzer.”
Maura: “That won’t be necessary.”
Jane: “Good, ’cause I don’t think it’s legal, but I would do it if it would make you feel better.”
Maura proceeds to explain the finer points of the procedure to an increasingly horrified Angela, and is (perhaps mercifully) interrupted by Hope, with whom she has a quick, awkward exchange. After Hope leaves the room, Maura explains that their mother/daughter relationship isn’t like the one Jane and Angela share, which leads to some hilarious bickering on the Rizzoli side of the Isles. Jane points out that Maura has been trying to create new neural pathways, so why not create new mother/daughter pathways as well? She’s a smart one, that Jane – and I’m not just talking about her mouth.
Outside Maura’s room, Jane asks her mom what’s going on between Frankie and Nina. Angela delivers a hilariously over-the-top denial that would be patently transparent even if her daughter weren’t a cop. “They’re so dating; I knew it!” Jane crows. They go for round two of the Rizzoli bicker-thon before Jane makes her mom promise to call with updates on Maura’s surgery. In turn, her mom makes her promise to let Frankie tell her about Nina himself. Somehow, I don’t think it’s going to be that easy…
When Maura gets out of surgery, she and Hope bond in their own awkward mother/daughter way as Hope tests Maura’s memory by quizzing her on the anatomy of the smile. She also reveals that Jane’s been calling every 20 minutes (seriously, Jane’s being a five-star girlfriend in Rizzoli & Isles 7×05), but after that, the conversation kind of dries up. Hope wonders aloud why interacting with Maura is so difficult, and Maura points out that they don’t really know each other. After all, Maura grew up with her adopted mom, Constance. “I’d still like to take care of you, even if it’s just for today,” Hope admits. Maura acquiesces with a small smile.
Back to the case. Claire’s insisting that her mom-hating texts were sent in the heat of the moment, and Korsak’s having trouble establishing the boyfriend’s alibi. Could the young couple have headed back to Claire’s house and murdered her mom together? Jane’s not buying it. “It’s a long way from being mad at your mother to killing her – I should know,” she declares.
Just then, Frankie and Nina show up with news. Robert was involved in a creepily similar death two decades earlier, when his live-in girlfriend died from an accidental nighttime fall down the stairs. Korsak pronounces the situation a doozy of a coincidence, and Jane not-so-subtly congratulates Frankie and Nina on their teamwork. But there’s more! Robert’s background is all a lie, from his affluent childhood to his Stanford education. Oh, and that antiquities business of his? Not so profitable after all. With his wife dead, he gets half of her money, the other half of which goes to Claire. Eager to prove his innocence, Robert agrees to a lie detector test – and aces it. Even Jane’s attempt to rattle him with proof of an affair falls flat, as he claims he and his wife had an open marriage.
Over at Maura’s, the lady of the house is reclining on the couch with her hair in a bun, her mom in the kitchen, and her girlfriend by her side. She encourages Jane to trust her instincts about Robert and reminds her that it’s possible to beat lie detector tests. But, OK, enough talk about the office. “I was worried about you,” Jane admits. “I know you were,” Maura responds. Can we just accept that’s code for “I love you” because there are eight episodes left, people – we’re running out of time here.
After Jane leaves Maura to be awkwardly mothered by Hope, Maura reflects on what she would do if the surgery failed and she could no longer work in the Medical Examiner’s office.
Maura: “Science and medicine aren’t just parts of my job, they’re parts of who I am, so I don’t know who I would be.”
Hope: “Well, I’m just suggesting that there might be another avenue for your gifts, like working with the living instead of the dead – and I happen to know of a woman who has several clinics who could really use someone like you. You never know where life leads, Maura, but one thing that I am certain of: You will have a fulfilling life after your career as an M.E.”
In no small part due to her awesome girlfriend, am I right?
Of sunglasses & hockey pucks
Speaking of, Jane’s employing some shady tactics to talk to Claire without her lawyer. I’d make a bigger deal of the technical illegality of her methods if it weren’t for the fact that they involve lounging sinfully on a bench outside Claire’s school, sunglasses on, mane flowing, card on hand in case Claire ever feels like reaching out. Actress Angie Harmon evidently approves as well, if this tweet is anything to go by:
I dig #janerizzoli in sunglasses
— Angie Harmon (@Angie_Harmon) June 28, 2016
Needless to say, Robert is furious, but Jane’s gamble may have paid off. She soon gets a call from Claire, who followed her father to a storage facility. Jane and Korsak rush over to find Robert shadily unloading a bag into his car. One short car chase and some very throaty (read: seeeexy) yelling later, Jane confiscates a trash bag containing a bloody field hockey stick. Robert admits he lied initially, but doesn’t accept culpability. Rather, he claims his daughter was the one who snapped and murdered his wife. His story sounds far-fetched at first, but as he keeps talking, I have to admit it starts seeming more plausible. One person who refuses to pick up what he’s putting down is Jane, who can’t overlook the similarities between the cases of Robert’s dead wife and girlfriend. She continues to stick to her guns, even when the D.A. decides to charge Claire with murder. In fact, Jane’s convinced Robert kept the hockey stick as insurance in case his wife’s death wasn’t ruled accidental. If she and the team can find the bloody clothes Robert was wearing the night of the murder, Claire will be in the clear…
Over at the storage facility, there’s bad news followed by good news. The trash has already been picked up for the week, but a local homeless man took Robert’s blood-spattered slippers out of the dumpster beforehand. Back at HQ, Jane triumphantly tells Robert to get a good lawyer. As Frankie leads the disgraced dad away in handcuffs, Jane’s left to deal with the fallout – namely, Claire. Unfortunately, Claire’s next stop is Child Services, but Jane promises to be with her the whole way.
As Rizzoli & Isles 7×05 winds down, Hope unexpectedly drops by Maura’s house with some information about her clinic’s volunteer programs. This makes me super nervous that she’s going to try to persuade Maura to move to Africa or something, but Maura says she has no plans to leave the M.E.’s office. She does, however, agree to take an after-hours tour of the clinic with Hope, which leaves Frankie and Nina to square off against Jane and Korsak’s lie detector at the Robber. Upon realizing Jane means business, Frankie and Nina spill the beans – probably a wise decision for everyone involved. Incidentally, Angela’s breathy I-just-found-out-about-this-right-now-I-swear reaction is about as believable as her denial earlier in Rizzoli & Isles 7×05. The episode ends with Jane trying to force Frankie to submit to the test anyway, this time with the goal of determining the fate of her autographed Bobby Orr hockey puck that “disappeared” in the seventh grade. If Frankie’s smart, he’ll turn the tables and try to get Jane to admit what’s really going on between her and Maura, but maybe that’ll be the end of another episode.