This week on Rizzoli & Isles, Maura wrote a love poem about Jane. That’s it; that’s the recap. OK, OK, our full recap of Rizzoli & Isles 6×16 is below.
Shot through the heart – but who’s to blame?
At the beginning of Rizzoli & Isles 6×16, Maura’s on her third cup of coffee because she was up late “working on a poem for [her] writing class,” which I initally thought was a euphemism, but apparently not. Jane recommends keeping it simple (“There once was a man from Nantucket…”) while Angela wonders aloud why Maura would want to study poetry to begin with. Honestly, her girlfriend and future mother-in-law need to be more supportive, especially in light of the fact that Maura signed up for the class to keep her mind off the abduction she endured in the season 6B premiere. Unfortunately, writer’s block isn’t Maura’s only problem in Rizzoli & Isles 6×16 – she also seems to be coming down with a cold. Luckily, Angela has a home remedy for sinus issues all ready to go. Just one small thing of note: It involves Maura sticking garlicky orange peel in her ear. This, unsurprisingly, throws a wrench into the works of the usual tandem “Rizzoli!” “Isles!” calls that summon our dynamic duo to the latest crime scene.
Speaking of the crime of the week, it involves a shootout between two men that left one dead and the other injured but able to flee. After a comical exchange with Jane down in Autopsy (“DO YOU HAVE AN OFFICIAL CAUSE OF DEATH?” “Why are you yelling?” “BECAUSE YOU PUT FRUIT IN YOUR EARS”), Maura explains that their victim was shot through the heart – but who’s to blame? Some security camera footage and a piece of metal found on the bottom of one of the victim’s boots may shed some light, along with a radioactive isotope found in the victim’s thyroid. When Korsak and Jane follow up on a tip that their shooter lives with his mother in an apartment near the scene of the crime, the apartment’s resident – a woman named Katrin – claims she doesn’t have a son and recommends they “talk to [her] ass.” I don’t know about you, but I’m going to be adding that phrase to my lexicon sooner rather than later.
Nothing to do with Johnny Depp
Back at headquarters, Jane, Korsak, Frankie, and Nina delve into Katrin’s background. They determine there may well be a Latvian connection between her and the victim, and knowing the latter’s region of origin is the first step toward finding out his identity. Remember that isotope? According to the European Radiological Data Exchange Platform, or EURODEP (which, assistant medical examiner Kent helpfully points out, has nothing to do with Johnny Depp), there was a suspected nuclear reactor accident in Latvia a couple of years before. Ultimately, they figure out that the victim is a hitman for the Latvian mob. Meanwhile, Frankie solidifies their shooter’s identity in a non-isotopey way by visiting the gang unit. Apparently the perpetrator goes by the extremely intimidating street name of Little Nicky and is on the outs with the local Quint Street Gang. How does any of this connect to Katrin? Little Nicky is her nephew.
As they sit outside Katrin’s apartment waiting for Nicky to drop by, Jane asks Korsak if he’s thinking about retiring, and he admits he’s been considering it.
Korsak: “Well, you’ve got to plan for the future.”
Jane: “I plan! My plan is to stop your plan of retiring!”
Ah, Jane. Simultaneously a badass crimefighter and an obstinate 4-year-old. Never change.
Jane and Korsak proceed to pass the time by talking about Korsak’s weirdest traffic stop ever, which is basically an excuse for actor Bruce McGill to name-drop a little movie he was in called Animal House. “I’m gonna miss this when it’s over,” Jane admits after she’s done laughing at Korsak’s story – an admission that takes on an added layer of meaning given the fact that the next season of Rizzoli & Isles will be the show’s last.
Next, Korsak asks where Jane sees herself down the road, and Jane responds with “Maura said that she would move to Maine and write mystery novels.” Korsak thinks she’s avoiding the question; I think she’s saying she’ll indulge her hopefully then-wife’s plans by following her wherever she wants to go. When Korsak inquires about a family, Jane says she hasn’t figured out how to both be a cop and have a family, and she could never give up being a cop. Ooh, I know the answer to this conundrum – she needs to settle down with someone in a similar line of work, wink wink.
Meanwhile, inside the apartment complex, Frankie strikes gold when his door-to-door canvass results in him meeting an attractive grad student named Nicole. The two proceed to discuss old movies and the Red Sox while Nicole sketches Frankie and Frankie surveils the alleyway below her window. Long story short, he asks her to accompany him to a Sox game, and she counter-invites him to attend an art gallery opening.
Nicole: “How do you feel about abstract expressionism?”
Frankie: “Uh… well, my feelings are… abstract… and hard to express.”
Oh boy. Well, if there’s one thing this show has taught us, it’s that opposites (i.e. Jane and Maura) attract.
A fever you can’t sweat out
I know what you’re all wondering – did the garlicky orange peel actually help with Maura’s symptoms? Well, it alleviated her sinus troubles, but pretty soon she’s feverish. Kent quotes the Bedouin saying “Have a fever, light a fire” and suggests Maura “try something [she’s] never tried before” that’s “strictly professional but very hot.” Um… where are you going with this, Kent? Should Jane be here instead of you?
Cut to Maura cocooned in blankets, lying on an autopsy table under a heat lamp as she simultaneously sweats out her fever and informs Jane via phone that the metal from the bottom of the victim’s shoe is some type of car part. Always multi-tasking, that one. She falls asleep and has a fever dream featuring none other than Detective Jane Rizzoli, but it’s a lot more “Hey, let’s find trace particle transfer from the metal inside the sole of the victim’s boot” and a lot less “Hey, let’s make out” than I was expecting.
The next morning, Jane calls to check in and tell Maura about the conversation she had with Korsak.
Jane: “It just got me thinking – you think your life’s never gonna change, and then one day it just does. … And then I realized that one day you’re gonna tell me you’re gonna move to some podunk town in Maine and write novels.”
Maura: “Well, I hope I get to tell you that one day!”
Jane: “Well, I’ll miss you.”
Maura: “No, you won’t. You won’t have a chance because I’m either taking you with me or you’re going to visit all the time.”
Jane: “OK, but can you make sure you get a place with a basketball court?”
YOU GUYS. RIZZLES 4EVA.
Back to the case. Korsak and Jane follow the trail of an ATM transaction made using Katrin’s credit card and find Nicky at an urgent care clinic, where he surrenders peacefully after a tense few moments. At BPD headquarters, Nicky’s just about to reveal information that could take down the Quint Street Boys when the gang’s lawyer shows up and tells him not to say anything more.
With Nicky not talking, Jane goes to the next best source – his aunt – and tells her the only way Nicky can get out of trouble is to cooperate with the police. By the time Jane and Katrin get back to the station, Nicky is already out on bail, which is where Maura comes in. Using a list of gang members coupled with Maura’s discovery of industrial machinery lubricant transferred inside the sole of the victim’s boot by that metal car part, Jane and the gang zero in on a salvage yard. They rescue Nicky from a car crusher with little time to spare, but not before engaging in what actress Angie Harmon gleefully tweeted was “My first shoot out!! It was A BLAST!”
As for that poem Maura’s struggling with, her first creation is a technically perfect sonnet that ultimately falls flat as far as resonance goes. The second time around, she writes from the heart – with a little help from Kent. On the surface, she lists the qualities she admires in her friends, but in actuality, she pens a love poem about Jane’s fierceness, wit, and laughter. No, seriously, I’m not kidding. I really can’t follow something like “She is not just my friend, she is a gift both precious and rare,” so I’ll end my recap of Rizzoli & Isles 6×16 here.