Catfish Artis and Jess Recap:
This week we’re introduced to Artis. No T. He’s been in a relationship for years with the mother of his children but he’s been talking to “Jess” online and wants to see what’s out there. Nev and Max tell him up front that they’re not interested in helping him cheat on his girlfriend. They won’t help him unless he talks to her and lets her know what’s going on. He agrees. Here we go.
Nev has two fashion accessories this episode. A handsome pair of glasses and a pair of crutches. I’m not sure what Nev did to hurt himself but he has a lump the size of an egg in his foot and I almost hurled.
Artis shows them Jess. She has only one picture on her Facebook page and it’s professional. Not a good sign. She has comments on the page telling her she isn’t real. Not a good sign either.
They call a guy who claims “Jess” throws herself at random people and he believes that she’s not who she says she is.
They resort to their trusty reverse image search and get..porn. Lots of it. “Jess” or at least her picture, is that of a porn star. They get in touch with Jess who refuses to talk on the phone. Jess demands to meet in a park and that they “bring Artis.” It’s looking straight up like a ransom note.
The Meet Up
The car shows up and…it’s a guy. He really dressed for the occasion.
As he walks up to Artis, there’s a crazy look in his eyes and he slow claps to announce himself. He looks like a serial killer. Nev’s alarm bells go off and he has to grab a chunk of this guy’s manboob to get him to back up. At this point, I’m concerned because Nev can’t run away. NEV YOU ARE ON CRUTCHES.
Because of this, I’m on the fence about whether this guy can be real. Would MTV really let an aggressive man get that close to their star?
But Max looks frightened. So much so that there is no sass tonight. RIP.
His name is Justin and he claims he isn’t gay. He just really hates cheaters. He feels like he owes it to society to expose them. I mean. Okay?
Nev leaves to talk to Artis, who booked it a few minutes earlier and Max is not happy. His face screams “Don’t leave me!” and he says “I don’t want to talk to him!” as Nev leaves him alone with Justin.
The following day, when Nev and Max meet up with Justin a second time, things just get weirder. Not much is accomplished. There’s a dog. This exchange follows:
Nev: Is this your dog?
Justin: No. It doesn’t matter. Come in.
Nev: Whose dog is it?
Justin: Does it matter? Come in.
This is the part of the horror movie when the audience is screaming for them not to go into the house.
Justin reveals he was homeless after his father died. It could explain some of his issues. He doesn’t care about Artis at all because “he’s a fart in the wind.”
Check back tomorrow for the full episode video.