Since killing Sookie’s Faerie Godmother and draining her, Eric is super drunk off of her blood. He’s running around like a little kid wanting to play hide and seek. Overwhelmed at the thought of having to chase a drunk Vampire around Louisiana, Sookie calls Alcide and his abs for some help. Sookie finds Eric frolicking in the sun and swimming in an alligator pond like it’s the most fun he’s ever had. Amnesia-Eric loves the sunlight. He switches instantly into a child when he starts to burn and needs to ask Sookie for help like a baby crying for his mama. Amnesia-Eric is now Depressed-Eric. He doesn’t want to spend his days in a cubby unable to enjoy the sun. He asks Sookie to stay with him until he falls asleep. Bah. That was adorable. I ship Sookie and Amnesia-Eric.
Especially because Bill is a total douche this season. There are a lot of people looking for this new and improved Eric and Bill is one of them. When Pam refuses to tell him where Eric is, Bill forces himself upon Sookie’s porch. He tries to force him and his goons inside to search the place because it is no longer her home. Sookie is hurt that Bill thinks he has a reason not to trust her and he agrees to back off before he gets inside for Eric. Bill has other problems. He finds out that the girl he’s currently doing is his great, great, great, great granddaughter. Gross!
Marnie and Lafayette and Co. are also looking for Eric. They’re desperate for her to reverse the spell on him before Pam kills all their asses. Marnie tries to look for the proper spell to help him but is basically lost without the help of whatever dark force it is that inhabits her to get their dirty work done. Doesn’t look like witches and dark forces have a good history with vampires because they seem intent on letting them suffer. Pam has enough of Marnie’s B.S. and confronts her. Marnie is once again taken over and Pam is her next victim. A spell is put on Pam to make her look like the rotting corpse she should be. Ahh! Save Pam!
In more disturbing news, Jason is still being raped by the crazy, inbred hicks in their loveshack. It’s seriously disgusting. One girl tells him he’s the best they’ve ever had, gets off of him and shouts “Next!.” And in walks a little girl. I’m staring at the screen not quite sure whether True Blood is going to “go there.” Thankfully they don’t and Jason convinces the little girl to cut him free. Felton morphs into Panther form and goes after Jason. In his weakened state, Jason is still able to drive a stake right through that panther and he kills Felton. Crystal shows up apparently happy at the sight and can’t wait for Jason to come back to them. When the hell did she get so crazy? I cannot wait for her character to die. Jason is practically dead on the side of the road when Hoyt and Jessica drive by to save him. Thank goodness. Will Jason turn into a panther at the full moon? I liked having him normal. There aren’t many of them left.
In “What the hell?” random smaller plot line news, Tommy goes back to his mom for a visit. She’s thrilled to see her boy now that he can read. She informs Tommy that she left his dad for good. He couldn’t be happier. Just when I thought they’d get a happy ending, Tommy’s dad takes a chain and chokes Tommy from behind, blackmailing him to stick around and continue the dog fights for them. Eesh. I hope Tommy gets out of it and kills his father. Maybe then he can shift into humans. Loophole! Arlene’s demonic creepy baby is still creepy. When Terry leaves the room, the baby picks up a marker and draws “Baby Not Yours” on the wall. Yikes! And here I thought it would come out normal.
Funniest Quotes of the Night:
Eric to Sookie: Come play with me!
Marnie: Stop saying fuck! I can’t concentrate!