Our not so friendly vampire quartet shows up to Marnie’s with a bazooka, hoping it will penetrate her spell. Jason shows up to piss on their hope when he informs them that Sookie is inside. Jason defends her when they basically call her a pain in the ass for always getting in the way. I mean..it’s kind of true but adorable how he’s standing up for her. The gang inside start to realize just how screwed they are when Marnie kills one of them with no remorse. Antonia leaves Marnie’s body because Marnie has gone batshit crazy and more evil than Antonia would like. She never wanted one of their own to perish. Marnie refuses to let her leave and casts a body binding spell to keep Antonia with her. Uhoh. Jesus says they’re screwed.
Sam and Alcide are still looking for Marcus and punching whoever they need to to get this information. Luna shows up screaming for him as well because he kidnapped their daughter. He’s shacking up with Debbie at Alcide’s place and wants to run away with her. Urgh. He’s so gross. When they find out where he is, Sam and Alcide bust in on them and Sam finally gets his hands on the ass who murdered his brother. Somewhere between choking him and calling him all sorts of names, Sam lets him go and wants him to live with the guilt instead. Ugh. No way! Marcus and Debbie is a little too much for him to handle so Alcide finishes what Sam should have. Marcus is killed and Debbie is kicked to the curb. Hell yeah Alcide!
Well here’s a plot this week that is seemingly out of nowhere and confuses the hell out of me. Andy is still walking home in the woods after Terry left him when he sees a ball of light. Fairy light? A beautiful girl in a poofy dress appears and attacks him with some more light. Sure looks like a fairy to me. She entices Andy and offers him some sex in exchange for him swearing to protect her. Hmm. The power of a lay. That swear will certainly come back to bite Andy in the ass and possibly give him a more interesting storyline next season. Woot!
Jesus has had enough of this bullsh*t. With the help of Lafayette and the body of the girl Marnie killed, he wants to cast a spell releasing Antonia from Marnie. All this Jesus time is making me very nervous for his well being. Save Jesus! Meanwhile, Marnie goes out to meet the vamps and says she will let Sookie go if Bill and Eric kill themselves. They agree. What?? Just as Bill is about to shoot Eric, Pam grabs the bazooka, aims it at the witch and fires. It bounces back off of the protection shield and Jason is hurt. Jess revives him with some more of her blood. Eric is furious that Pam disobeyed him and tells her to get out of his sight. Whoa. Have they ever been this mad at each other before? Would Bill and Eric have gone through with it had Pam not interrupted?
Marnie looks into the future and sees herself dead. She’s furious and decides it’s time for another of their circle spells against the vampires. Sookie reluctantly joins but uses her fairy powers to stop Marnie once she realizes it’s hurting her friends outside. Marnie punishes Sookie by putting her in a ring of fire to burn. Sookie’s only hope is in the form of the sexy nurse in the back room casting one creepy spell. Lucky for her, it works. The ring of fire is broken and the vampires get in and shoot Marnie. Peace out bitch.
Jesus is in some serious depression over Marnie’s death. Good riddance if you ask me. His sadness worries me even more. While lying in bed with Lafayette, Jesus closes his eyes unable to see what’s about to go down. Marnie’s ghost/spirit is hovering over Lafayette. Man. Him being a medium sure sucks right now doesn’t it? Marnie possesses Lafayette. Uhoh. She’s going to want revenge on Jesus. Save Jesus!
Funniest Quotes of the Night:
Jesus: He’s a medium.
Tara: Since fucking when?
Lafayette: Everything he said in this episode was on point. He deserves a comedic Emmy.
So this episode of Pretty Little Liars was interesting to say the least. It starts off 12 hours in the future and the girls are dirty and in a confession room at the police station. They’re wearing ridiculous dresses and look miserable because they’re in there for a homicide charge. The door opens and the first shocking moment is that Detective Wilden is back! AKA Hot Cop. He’s thrilled because he’s known all along they were guilty and now he finally has evidence. What evidence? Well we won’t know because now we’re back 12 hours into the past where A is busy playing a board game and the four girls here are the pieces.
From here on out, the girls are on a scavenger hunt to find the missing Dr. Sullivan. She’s still alive but not for long. In order to stay that way, A assigns each girl (minus Emily) a task to perform to save her life. Aria must run Jackie out of town, Hanna must break up her father’s wedding, and Spencer must keep Toby safe. That translates into breaking up with him for some reason. Is that why Toby’s brakes were cut? Save Toby! Things don’t go smoothly for Aria because Jackie blackmails her in return. Jackie is such a bitch. I was really hoping she would die this episode. But alas. She does not.
In couple news, because every episode has to be filled with boring couple drama, Caleb is back in town to attend the wedding and tell Kate that she has back fat. Go Caleb! After breaking up with Toby, Wren shows up to comfort Spencer and be generally adorable with his accent. They kiss but it’s really weak and pointless. Maya and her suspicious boots are also back in town and hanging out with Emily. Blah blah nothing suspicious to report here. I still have my eye on you Maya.
On her way to the wedding, Emily finally gets her task from A. Her GPS is re-routed to a barn in the middle of nowhere. Emily’s task is apparently to be stupid and kill herself from carbon monoxide. She gets locked in the barn with a running car as the fumes continue to seep out. Emily stands there inhaling deeply. Instead, she could have taken her like 6 inch heel and broken the car window and drove the hell out of that barn. Emily’s always been one of the dumber girls. After passing out, Emily is dragged out of the barn where she has a vision that she’s with Alison.
I have no idea what we’re supposed to take away from this scene and I’ve watched it multiple times. They kiss and Ali mentions she knows who A is but she can’t tell Emily. When asked why, Alison repeats a lyric from the theme song and says “because two can only keep a secret if one of them is dead.” Alright then? Emily however, seems to be thinking clearly and is convinced that Alison is alive. Hmm. I’d be on board with that.
The girls get a text with a location to go to and a shovel to dig up the doctor. They dig and they dig and it’s not her. It’s just her boots. As they dig, helicopters and police show up to take them in for having possession of the weapon that killed Alison. They’ve known all along that it was a shovel that killed her and this is apparently concrete evidence that they did it. What the hell? They could have found that thing anywhere. Which they did. Lame ass case if you ask me. Ezra shows up to the police station after a frantic call from Aria and Ella tells him to bounce because she thinks he’s a creepy perv who’s doing Spencer. Lulz.
Big reveal time. And by big reveal I mean mediocre reveal that most of us saw coming. Garrett has the 5th page of Alison’s autopsy which is an analysis of physical evidence on her body or something. He meets Jenna in a confession room while she spills her guts basically saying that the two of them killed Alison. Or were at least responsible for it and put the note in Jason’s pocket. Jenna says Ali deserved to die that way. Meh. I feel like anyone watching the show knew this. I don’t believe it’s that black and white though. I don’t think they’re A either. They may be responsible for cyber bullying the girls but I don’t believe they are the gloved wonder. Who by the way, makes an appearance at a diner with Dr. Sullivan. They hand her an envelope after she says she’s done everything they asked of her. Hmm. The waitress then tells A they have Pretty Eyes. Bah! Who has pretty eyes??
Pretty Little Liars returns in October with a special Halloween flashback episode.
A is determined to break Emily with their games. They send Emily a picture of Aria and Fitz together with the instructions to show it to Ella and she’ll be free. Emily can’t take it and drives off..so she can run in the woods..in the middle of the night. Why do they always find themselves in a dark place in the middle of the night with a killer on the loose? Idiots. She keeps running and running like she’s Forrest Gump right up to Dr. Sullivan’s door. She’s ready to talk. The other girls are already there waiting for her. They finally tell someone the truth. Well..most of it. Just not that they’re responsible for Jenna’s blinding. I mean..they aren’t REALLY. They just knew about it.
Hanna’s Grandma is in town to be overly awesome and an excuse to have Betty Buckley on our screens. I’m getting major Paula Deen vibes from her. That means Hanna’s Grandma is awesome. She’s in town early for Hanna’s dad’s wedding rehearsal. Hanna’s stepsister-to-be still has it out for her and Hanna is stupid enough to believe the chick is ready to be friends. What Kate really has in store for Hanna is getting her drunk until she pukes all over her step mom’s gown. What a bitch. Can’t wait for Hanna’s payback.
The situation with Mike, whatever it is, is getting worse. I’ve heard everything from he’s bipolar to he’s gay and doesn’t want to come out. I prefer the theory A is blackmailing him but this episode kinda put the kabosh on that one. When Aria and Ella try to get Mike away from guarding his laptop to come downstairs for some dinner, Ella tries to take his computer away. Mike responds so violently he ends up hurting his mom. Ella is visibly shaken and asks Aria to lie to her dad about what happened. Ella seems to be in some serious denial about what’s wrong with her son. The dad wants him on medication and she just wants to talk to him.
Maya is back in town and Emily has dinner with her. I don’t really care or have anything to say about this scene except some suspicious dialogue that I couldn’t help but notice. Emily mentions that there were a lot of people trying to hurt her and Maya says “I was one of them.” Not suspicious on its own because it could just be because Maya took off and checked out of their relationship. But she DID live in Ali’s house. I dunno. I have my eye on you Maya.
Speaking of Ali’s house, Toby and Spencer are busy making out in his truck while parked in front of Jason’s house (WTF??) when they notice two shadows inside. Spencer has had enough of this b.s. and marches right up to the door only to be surprised when a violent version of her father emerges. When Spencer and Toby demand answers, he flips out on Toby and punches the car when Spencer drives off inside.
When she gets home, he tells her that he made a deal with Ali’s family to fudge over the dates on her grandmother’s will. She died right before Ali went missing and had changed the will to cut Jason out of it. Ali’s parents begged him to change the dates so Jason wouldn’t look like a murder suspect. Spencer remembers something in a flashback of Ali asking what would motivate a grandmother to disown a grandchild, insinuating her plans to screw Jason over. Damn. This girl was ruthless. Spencer jumps to conclusions and thinks this is motive for Jason to kill Ali once he found out that she had convinced his grandma to cut him out. Spencer’s father doesn’t want her to go to the cops. Jason is probably his kid or something.
It’s Dr. Sullivan’s turn to be harassed by A. She makes a speech in school about how bullying through texts is cowardly and Jenna seems to find this amusing. I wish someone would punch the smirk off her face. Emily tells Jenna to get her stick out of her way and it’s pretty awesome. A calls Dr. Sullivan playing a portion of her conversation with the girls on a loop. Now she knows that her room was bugged so she calls the cops. And OF COURSE the only cop in town is Garrett and he won’t cooperate unless she tells him who was in the room with her. What an ass. The bug is on the shelf! She couldn’t find that? Dr. Sullivan loses patience and takes matters into her own hands. She goes through her files and discovers who A is. She calls the girls to meet her but doesn’t say the identity over the phone. UGH. When they get there she’s gone followed by a text from A claiming “The Dr. is out.”
She’s so dead.
Alcide is running through the forest carrying Sookie’s lifeless body when Bill turns up and snatches her because he runs faster. He attempts to give her his blood but she’s not taking it and she barely has a pulse. Sookie finally wakes up and the first thing out of her mouth is “Where’s Eric?” Bill and Alcide try to talk some sense into her but Sookie is pretty daft when it comes to the guys she loves. Alcide is pretty much like “F*ck this sh*t” and gets out of there. Smart guy. He goes back to Debbie who smells Sookie on her. Will she go after Sookie next? What I got out of this scene is that Alcide sleeps in the nude. 🙂
Alcide offers to join Marcus who has a need for him to be a body guard. Marcus wants to settle things with Sam and goes to Merlotte’s to invite him over for a talk that will probably just result in his beating. He meets Tommy instead who immediately doesn’t like him. Tommy goes to the meeting shifting as Sam and gets cocky. I can’t see how he’s helping Sam by doing this but it’s not long before Tommy is such a bloody pulp that he shifts back into himself involuntarily.
Hoyt is boxing up Jessica twilight books and Taylor Swift cds when a very possessed Lafayette strolls into the house with Arlene’s baby. Hoyt barely has time to register the weirdness before faux-Lafayette pulls a gun on him and kicks him out of the house in his underwear. Hoyt immediately calls Jason and Andy for help and some pants. Along with Arlene and Terry, they head on over to the house but get nowhere. It’s not until Jesus shows up and goes inside to try and work some magic on the spirit inside Lafayette that they get anywhere. She finally understands that it’s not her baby and they help her find where her and her baby’s body is buried. Then some weird stuff goes down and she floats on up to heaven with her baby. …Okay.
Jason may have not been able to contribute much to that cause but he’s able to contribute quite a bit to Jessica’s lady parts when he shows up to deliver her box of stuff. And in the back of his truck no less. Poor Hoyt. He’s not gonna be happy when he finds out.
After having so much of his blood, Sookie starts to imagine a world where both Eric and Bill can be “Hers.” Where she is not the property of one man and where threesomes with two hot vampires is the logical thing to do. It’s a nice fantasy world but it’s not going to last. In reality, Eric is under Antonia’s control and has been ordered to kill Bill. Debbie helps Sookie break into Antonia’s shop where she is holding all of her minions hostage. They’re all turning on her and want nothing more to do with this crazy crap. Tara catches her and holds her at gunpoint as a way to actually save her life. Sookie escapes to warn Bill at his rally that he’s in danger. Mayhem ensues when Eric shows up killing people and the episode ends.
Funniest Quotes of the Night:
Spirit: Thank you Lafayette.
Lafayette: You got it, bitch.
Jason: Hoyt wants us to bring him some pants.
Terry: We don’t have time for that.
Andy: It’ll only take a minute and I don’t wanna see that sh*t.
A is upping their game this week. Poor Emily can’t even eat her breakfast without A messing with her. A can now invade their cereals. First fortune cookies and now cereal? Does A have a part time job working in food prep? Hanna’s mom offers Emily a free massage gift certificate to help her relax. Emily being A’s latest special target has really made her stressed. So much so that not even a massage can help her. She seriously considers telling Dr. Sullivan the truth about everything. Long overdue in my opinion. Nothing is worth putting themselves in danger by not talking. Emily enjoys her massage but is shocked when the massage therapist comes in late. Emily got a special massage from A. How did she not feel the leather gloves? If she had looked up, would A have killed her?
Hanna plays along with her dad’s upcoming wedding and tries to get along with her step sister. With the encouragement of Mona, they end up on an ill fated horseback riding trip that has Hanna bit by a horse and traipsing through the woods on foot. When she gets back to the cabin, she sets her helmet on the intercom and accidentally announces to the entire place exactly what she thinks of Kate. New Kate (because the actress was also replaced to someone “prettier”) is really scary. She lets Hanna know that she’ll basically be her bitch from now on. Who does she think she is? Hanna has like zero obligation to ever talk to this chick again. Who cares if her dad finds out?
The girls worry about how close Aria is getting with Jason. Can they blame her? She’s obviously blinded by the abs. They tell her about the pictures they found in Jason’s shed and Aria is seriously creeped out. Somehow though, Aria grew some balls. Instead of hiding from the creepy guy taking pictures of her in her sleep, she walks right up to him and asks him why he has them, outing her friends for breaking and entering in the process. Jason doesn’t miss a beat and tells him that he didn’t take the pictures. Alli took them and he found them in a box hidden under her floor boards. He was going to frame them and give them to her as a gift. Um. Who would want that? And why would Alli take them? That’s just creepy and weird.
Spencer and Toby are packing up the rest of Ian’s things when they come across his yearbook. Spencer notices that Ian is listed as being in a club that doesn’t exist. The NAT club. Also listed as being in it are Jason and Garrett who were apparently all in the same class. Nice headshot looking yearbook photos. My yearbook looks like crap in comparison. Spencer finds a shirt with a latin phrase on it with the initials NAT. Translated it means We See All. This makes Spencer jump to the conclusion that they were all in on “seeing” all of the girls and making the pedo videos. She now believes that Jason would have killed Alli for the tapes.
Spencer panics and hops into Ezra’s car to warn him about Aria and Jason. She tells him she knows that they’re together and that she believes Aria is in danger from Jason. Fitzy and Aria have been on thin ice after Aria voices her annoyance at Jackie always being around. She also confesses to Jason kissing her. This doesn’t stop Fitzy from driving his car right on over to Jason’s house to grab Aria away. He tells her he doesn’t want to lose her and if becoming an “out” couple will save them then he’s willing to do it. Jason walks in on them kissing and it’s probably the most awkward scene ever. Just when I think they’re going to hop out of the closet, Ella tells Aria she would feel betrayed if Ezra ever dated a student.
Spencer gets one more unwelcome visit from Jenna. She is sooo annoying. Why do they even talk to her anymore? Jenna warns Spencer about snooping around Alli’s murder and dragging Toby with her. Spencer snaps at her and lets her know she knows about her and Garrett. Jenna is visibly shocked and tells Garrett it’s time to talk to Jason. About what? When Garrett goes to see Jason we get like zero information other than Garrett asking if the two of them are still “cool.”
At the end of the episode, A makes one final appearance sitting down to chat with Dr. Sullivan. I’ve noticed a lot of fans seem to think Mike is A in this scene but I’m not so sure. I thought he could be working for A all along but Dr. Sullivan suggested him to another therapist. What do you think?