Last week on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Apollo was sentenced to serve time for fraud while Phaedra hid out in Augusta, Kenya opened up about the ongoing psychological effects of Porsha‘s attack, and NeNe rehearsed for her role in Cirque du Soleil’s Zumanity. Read on for our recap of RHoA 7×02.
Ebony & dentistry
RHoA 7×02 opens with Phaedra expressing her desire to put all the drama with Apollo to the side as she takes her son, Ayden, to the dentist – but then Apollo shows up. “As a Southern belle, I will always be cordial in public,” declares Phaedra in her personal interview. Apparently that translates to completely ignoring and refusing to speak to her husband.
The appointment is a bittersweet experience for Apollo, who’s trying to make the most of his last two months of freedom before being incarcerated for fraud. He’s preparing to have a talk with Ayden to explain the situation – and Phaedra’s planning the same thing. Here’s a thought: Perhaps they should sit down together. Just saying.
Over at Bar One, Peter is complaining that Cynthia‘s posterior is pulling up the back of her skirt. “People pay a lot of money to have their ass this high,” Cynthia retorts. You tell him. They sit down to look at her new five-page spread in Ebony magazine, and Peter announces his intention to celebrate the feature at the bar.
Of course, every event in the world of RHoA comes with the minefield of the guest list. Kenya’s on, Porsha’s off due to disparaging Cynthia on Watch What Happens (“She’s been talking negative stuff; she can stay over in Negativeville”) and NeNe’s off because she and Cynthia are on the outs. Over-under on there being drama at the party despite the absence of Porsha and NeNe?
Everybody’s gettin’ houses
Meanwhile, in Kandi Land, Kandi and new husband Todd are discussing Kandi’s intentions of buying a house for her mother – despite the fact that Momma Joyce was already given Kandi’s old house but doesn’t like its remote location. In a bout of uncharacteristic wit, Todd offers the following critique of the situation:
You gave her a house, and you’re gonna buy another house? This is the south; y’all just be buying houses. You get a house, you get a house! Y’all on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Everybody’s gettin’ houses.
Speak of the devil (no, literally, the devil), Momma Joyce’s car pulls up outside. She and Todd make awkward small talk while Kandi leaves to grab her keys. As Kandi notes in her personal interview, at least the two are able to be in the same room without arguing, but that won’t stop Momma Joyce from glaring daggers at Todd anytime soon.
Kandi and her mother tour the latter’s prospective new digs, and Momma Joyce declares, “Miss Hard-to-Please love it.” What’s more, the house is only a couple of blocks from Kandi Land, which will be perfect if Kandi and Todd have any children. Momma Joyce then proceeds to ask if Kandi’s sure Todd hasn’t had a vasectomy, because she dreamt it. Is she a psychic now? “The things I say, it be true,” she insists.
Speaking of Todd, the blended family Kandi envisions hit a snag during the run-up to their nuptials (spoiler alert for anyone who didn’t watch Kandi’s Wedding, although you should’ve been able to see that coming from a mile away). Specifically, Momma Joyce called Todd’s mother Sharon a prostitute, and Sharon called Momma Joyce a bitch. Kandi brings up the idea of Momma Joyce apologizing, but her mother insists it should be the other way around. “I’m due an apology,” she claims, “and I will accept it, because she escaped a good butt-whoopin’.”
Cut to Kandi’s personal interview, in which she expresses her doubt about having blended holidays. …Probably wise.
Gift-wrap it, hand it to God, & move on
At Kenya’s place, Ms. Gone With the Wind Fabulous is still haunted by what went down at the season 6 reunion. “I think you should gift-wrap it, hand it to God, and move on,” advises BFF Brandon. He encourages her to get back into producing and acting, and Kenya admits she misses working. When she invites him to be her date to Cynthia’s party, he balks at the idea given his history with Apollo. (Remember the epic pajama party fight? Yeah, that history.)
Last episode, we saw NeNe preparing to emcee Zumanity in Las Vegas, and in RHoA 7×02, opening night has finally arrived. The only original RHoA cast member has opening-night jitters – and her artistic director emphasizing the importance of delivering the correct lines isn’t exactly helping. Oh, and there’s still the question of the onstage orgy.
In the beginning, I was having a hard time with the whole orgy because I didn’t know what you do, you know, I don’t know if you hug each other, kiss each other, teabag…
The jury’s out on whether NeNe understands the ins and outs (no pun intended) of the orgy scene by the end of the show, but regardless, her first performance goes off without a hitch.
Too late to Apollo-gize
At Bar One, we’re introduced to new Housewife Claudia Jordan, who’s just moved to Atlanta from New York. For some reason, Kandi brings up the bad blood between Kenya and Porsha, opining that Kenya took things too far by pressing charges. Just as the night seems to be heating up between the girls, Apollo arrives to add fuel to the fire and Kenya and Claudia wisely retreat to the bathroom.
Kenya: “He is getting ready to go to prison for eight years.”
Claudia: “His abs are going to be really amazing when he gets out, though.”
…I like the way you think, Claudia.
Kenya returns to the table to say her goodbyes and make a hasty exit. When Apollo asks if he can speak with her, she says no because she’s getting ready to leave. While she’s outside chatting with Cynthia, Apollo, who apparently can’t take no for an answer, approaches to clear the air before going to prison. The exchange quickly devolves into a yelling match. Inside, Apollo tells Kandi, Todd and Peter that he made up everything he said about Kenya offering him head in Los Angeles, then goes back outside to take another shot at apologizing to Kenya. He admits that he never saw her in L.A. and she says she feels vindicated.
“Jesus, so much for my party,” Cynthia laments. This is The Real Housewives of Atlanta – what did you expect?
Quote of the Week: The quote of the week accolade from RHoA 7×02 has to go to Brandon’s “I think you should gift-wrap it, hand it to God, and move on” – as if there were ever any doubt.
Tune into Bravo next Sunday at 8/7c for more drama from The A.