by Dianna Berrian
The season premiere of “Being Human” kicks off with a pair of ghosts relaxing in a purgatorial spa and a vampire running from a werewolf stuck in wolf form. Admit it – you missed Sally, Aiden and Josh!
For the record, the fact that this show is off for a year is incredibly annoying because all of the mythology is easily forgotten. But that bit aside, YAY “BEING HUMAN” IS BACK! Now, before we get to the spa with Sally, let’s just go back to Aiden running from wolfed out Josh. Apparently our resident werewolf is stuck in his still stuck in wolf form, as we left him last year. But it looks like this has become the norm for Aiden and Nora who successfully lure him into a barn where they lock him in.
“Some people go to Italy for their honeymoon. I bait my husband with a goat.” – Nora
Oh, girl. You knew what you were signing up for! (Sidenote: Aiden the vampire getting bitten by mosquitos is probably the greatest irony ever.)
Okay, let’s get back to the ghosty spa with Sally and her witch-ghost-napper, Donna. Remember her? Crazy woman who ate souls? Yeah, that Donna. They seem to be in paradise but Donna keeps talking in riddles and it makes understanding what’s going on confusing. The gist of it is Donna brought them to a sort of secure place where they could stay to keep the balance in the world after Sally ripped through her and she destroyed Sally’s death spot. But Sally is the one who made their safe haven into a day spa. Consider it sort of a…“holding cell, as if [they] were criminals.” Or, if that doesn’t suit you, an “upsetting the balance of the universe prison.”
Meanwhile, Nora goes to check on Josh and he’s miraculously human again! …For thirty minutes. Well. You know what that means. Bow chicka wow wow. And may I note? Sam Huntington is definitely rocking that shaggy, scruffy look. But I digress. After all is said and done…ahem…Josh and Nora lie in each other’s arms in bliss. (Ah, love.) Notice the full moon in the sky? It turns out that Josh is a reverse werewolf, i.e. he turns human on a full moon, and stays wolf the rest of the time. After sexing up Nora, Josh spends his last half hour catching up with Aiden. Oh, and by the way, that icky vampire killing virus ran its course and is gone now. He gets a little moody: “No one should have to live with a burden like me…That’s why I need you to kill me.” Of course they argue, and we’re shown the silver blade that Josh gave him for emergencies, but, essentially, Josh needs to know Aiden will do what he has to do if it comes down to it. Another FYI, Aiden is still keeping in touch with Kat – the cute history buff that doesn’t know he’s a vampire yet. Josh urges him to go salvage what’s left of that relationship after months of trying to deal with his wolf issues. And he does. “See you in a month.” Why does that hurt my heart?
Back at the tranquil swimming pool of ghosts, Sally starts to question Donna’s authority and how much longer she’ll have to stay in the pretend spa and comes to a few conclusions of her own:
“Destroying my death spot erases my way home. But you and I are linked. And you dragged me down through my death spot, that’s gotta mean I get out through yours.” – Sally
And she does just that, making a lovely display of destroying their lovely resort only to pop up in a department store in a noose. A group of people from the witch trial era are chanting at her and with a brief flash back to the moment, Sally realizes she’s found Donna’s death spot where she was hung. The noose breaks and Sally is free – free at last! Boo ya, voodoo bitch.
Aiden, on the other hand, meets up with Kat at a faculty meeting slash party and does a good job of zoning her out when he sees his wife outside. He excuses himself to follow supposed apparition only to find she’s gone. Little does he know, she’s inside chatting up Kat under a guise of thesis student, Diana, and asking questions about Aiden. I get the vibe that she’s just a former love interested in the current love of his life, in a sort of wistful way to understand how he moved on. Either way, his wife goes M.I.A. again and we fast forward to some sexy times between Kat and Aiden. That is, until Susanna appears in place of Kat. But it winds up just being a dream, which Sally wakes him up from. Yay! Aiden and Sally are my favorite!
It takes some explaining but Aiden is finally up to speed with what happened to Sally. But not without concern. “If what Donna said is true, if you’re not supposed to be here then it’s not safe for you to be here.” Foreshadowing, dun dun dun!
As Josh and Nora say goodbye before he goes wolf again, she admits she’s getting scared and feels like she’s failing him. He promises they’ll figure it out, but it’s not exactly the best thing to say to a semi-suicidal werewolf at this sensitive time. She leaves him to lock himself in, and he starts to but some sort of internal struggle passes through his eyes and he leaves it. By the time Aiden arrives with Sally, Josh is gone.
“Awesome. Well. I’m just gonna go be bait!” – Aiden (AKA best sass deliverer of the night.)
As they’re looking for him, Aiden slips out that Josh asked him to kill him. And note the knife sheathed on his hip. Before Nora can even register her shock, wolf Josh shows up on the bridge they’re stopped on. Somehow, Sally manages to stop him by trapping him in a circle of flames and Nora is able to shoot a tranquilizer into him. So…what was that with the fire? Doesn’t matter because Sally up and vanishes out of nowhere. She’s still on the same bridge, just in some other plane by herself, it seems. And while there, she somehow pops up in a house where a circle of witches are chanting around a little girl begging for her life – “The blood of the child revives us.” Anyone else creeped out?
In a turn of events, Aiden is back at work at the hospital! Not a moment too soon, either, as that redheaded bitch Blake is back, working for the same funeral home the old vampire regime used as a cover. (In case anyone forgot who Blake is, she’s the vampire who wanted to use Kenny’s pure blood for herself and offered to turn him when Aiden wouldn’t.) They bicker about the power struggles in the city, as Aiden is still supposed to be the king. But it appears he might soon be overthrown by…wait for it…Kenny? He’s alive?! Yes, while Aiden was under the impression he was dead, it turns out he is actually fine. And he is going places, running the city and threatening Blake for using a tone with him. Should we be scared of this kid? Or should we applaud him? Either way, Aiden’s progeny is bound to cause trouble.
And speaking of trouble, after a good round of morning sex, Kat utters the three scariest words to the male race – “I love you.” Since Aiden is a little too beside himself to say it back, she follows up with the obligatory, “I would like to acknowledge that I just said some very loaded words and I don’t want things to get weird.” So yeah, she meant it, she loves him. But it’s okay if he’s not ready to say it back. After she leaves, Aiden heads downstairs but he’s frazzled again when the doorbell rings and behind it is none other than his wife Susanna. Nothing like a juicy love triangle in the morning!
In other news, the previews for the season show more Bishop!!! Who wants to party with me?