“Do you think I’m a good person?” Schmidt asks his roommates at the beginning of this episode of “New Girl.” Schmidt’s still licking his wounds after his two-timing, and reluctant responses from Winston, Nick, and Jess send him into Schmidt Crisis Mode.
Meanwhile, a shady guy shows up with a paper sack for Nick on behalf of his dead father’s estate, and it turns out to hold $8,000. Cut to Winston and Jess at the mall, watching Nick burn through money on ridiculous stuff. Jess wants Nick to slow down, but Winston warns her not to ever talk to Nick about money. Meanwhile, Winston sees this as his opportunity “con” Nick into giving him the $1,900 he owes him.
Back at home, Jess suggests starting a bank account, but Nick insists that a bank “is just a paper bag with fancier walls” and prefers to keep the money in his box, which is where he puts things “and forgets about them.” Jess is appalled to see that the box is filled to the brim with unpaid bills.
Meanwhile, Schmidt’s visiting his rabbi (Jon Lovitz) in efforts to find out how to be a better person. “You might want to think about others. Learn to care about someone else,” he advises, but these are foreign concepts to Schmidt. On his way home, Schmidt performs a Heimlich maneuver on an injured and choking biker, and he sees this mitzvah as his chance for validation.
Jess is secretly paying Nick’s debts, while Winston’s stuffing Nick with sliders to convince him to pay back the money he owes. Nick, confused about the way loans work, accuses Winston of slipping out of the “woodword” to take his money. When Nick storms off to the bar, Winston catches Jess going through Nick’s box; Winston blackmails Jess into paying him the money Nick owes him in return for his silence.
At the bar, a wasted Nick complains about money and Schmidt suggests giving it to charity (but only so he can rack up another mitzvah by proxy). Schmidt tells Nick about saving the biker’s life and tries to get Nick to tell him he’s a good man, but Nick’s too drunk to comply. He does, however, feel compelled to go home to perform his “tzatziki.” Jess is forced to admit that she took the money to pay Nick’s bills, after having tried to stop payments on them.