RHoA 7×09 – 50 Shades of Shade – Recap
Last week on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, some beef was squashed, some tea was sipped, and Porsha, Kenya, Cynthia and NeNe came to an uneasy détente culminating in the most awkward hugging and kissing since Phaedra and Apollo. Read on for our recap of RHoA 7×09 – ominously titled 50 Shades of Shade.
We open with Cynthia and Peter touring a potential new location for Bar One. The place is… well, a dump, but Cynthia’s a “visual person” and can see its potential. The fact that the lot is adjacent to a former funeral home that attended to Martin Luther King, Jr.’s body is the cherry on top.
“That’s a sign,” Cynthia declares. “Martin Luther King, really? He had a dream, we got dreams.”
Totally the same thing.
Over at the Kandi Factory, Claudia has a dream too – to be on Kandi’s X-rated Kandi Koated Nights broadcast. Kandi is totally on board with making that dream come true, and Claudia’s suggestion also sparks the idea of a separate night of sex-and-relationship talk with the rest of the housewives. Later in RHoA 7×09, Claudia’s aspirations become reality, and during her appearance, she denies any romantic dalliances with Jamie Foxx but says she would French-kiss Kandi for $500. Good to know.
With Apollo imminently heading off on what Phaedra hilariously terms his “mandatory vacation,” Phaedra is all about maximizing her home’s security. Standing outside in a #FixItJesus shirt, she details her plans of electrified fences “to keep the kids in and the crazies out” to a bemused trio of construction workers.
Speaking of fixing it, Kenya gets facials with her Aunt Lori – and catches her up on the events of the Cynthia/NeNe/Porsha dinner while she’s at it. Upon learning that Kenya buried the hatchet with NeNe and Porsha, her aunt says she never thought she’d see the day. You and me both, Aunt Lori.
NeNe has something of her own to fix: A bad habit related to her mail.
What happens is I order stuff, then the stuff comes in the mail, then I forget to open it because I already know what’s in the box. I get lots of mail and lots of gifts and I don’t have the time to open them up sometimes and I let them pile up, which is just like a bad habit that I have.
Me too, NeNe. Me too. Everyone, stop sending me gifts, please, thank you.
NeNe’s gift woes are interrupted by a phone call from her manager, who has three offers from Broadway and is pushing for her to take the role of the Wicked Stepmother in Cinderella. NeNe claims that will be a “real stretch” for her because she’s “not mean.”
Meanwhile, Phaedra’s on her way to the National Bar Association Annual Conference to be honored for being one of the top attorneys in all the land. She admits to her mother, the fearsome Pastor Regina, that she had second thoughts about accepting the award because of Apollogate, but ultimately decided not to let drama at home affect her professionally.
Pillow Talk, part two?
Remember last season’s Pillow Talk party that ended in a physical fight between Brandon, Peter and Apollo? In a bid to avoid a repeat, Kandi decided to make her sex-and-relationships party girls-only. As long as there are only women, there won’t be drama, right? …Wrong. The housewives have barely arrived before NeNe snubs Kenya and Claudia, so that’s hardly an auspicious beginning.
Kandi introduces family doctor and sexologist (what a combination) Rachael Ross, who engineers an icebreaker that involves going around the room to get everyone’s relationship status. Things are going smoothly until Demetria lays claim to Roger Bobb and Kandi’s friend Gocha admits she dated him too, and that he told her Demetria was just his artist. Cut to Demetria leaving the room and Cynthia going after her while the other attendees pull various hilarious faces.
“I was trying to have a good party,” Kandi bemoans in her personal interview. Awk…ward.
Tune in to Bravo next Sunday at 8/7c for more drama from The A.